Because you're so obstinate, I didn't have much of a choice but to do so.

You wont have to go through so much pain if you had given up earlier but whyyyyy are you so persistent.

It's damn tiring to go through this over and over again but you just wont listen no matter how many times I told you.

If this issue keeps bothering us and we have to repeat the whole cycle over and over again, I think our friendship will be strained.

Please please respect my decision. I dont wish to lose my temper at you all the time because of the same thing.

I dont watch tv now cause im too lazy to make my way down to the lounge, and im too lazy to watch idol dramas on my lappy, so im like constantly revising the lecture notes and doing tutorials! I hope I dont go bonkers at this rate.

At least there's pingpong trng now to provide me with a channel to destress!

Anyway, I shall not forget my aim and purpose of starting from year 1 in uni and perservere!

Hope my hard work will pay off and my mother wont say im a lazy person (:

这样

赤裸裸的，

不舒服，

不喜欢。

最近经过一些事才更了解自己，

发现我其实很害怕被爱。

过去，

如果要我在爱与被爱两者之间选出一个，

我会很想要被爱。

而现在，

我只想爱别人。

因为被爱对我来说比爱别人还要痛苦。

虽然对方并没有要求我给他们什么，

虽然对方可以无条件地付出，牺牲

我觉得自己很难接受他们的爱。

总是喜欢活在自己世界的我，

其实很害怕某天哪个陌生人闯进我的世界。

因为讨厌，拒绝改变，

所以常常对新的事物，还是人物有所防备。

就像刺猬身上的刺是它的保护色，

我的保护色就是装成一幅不屑的样子，

把心都给冻结了，

没感觉了。

小心翼翼地防备，保护自己。

因为曾经疯狂爱过，

换来的只是遍体鳞伤。

所以怕了，更不再爱了。

或许是我太爱自己了吧。

爱到心已经容不下任何人了。

或许是我太懦弱了吧。

懦弱到只懂得把别人推开。

很多次

因为这样的自己

而不知不觉地伤害很多人。

真的很抱歉。

心明明在隐隐作痛，却还得装出一副若无其事的样子

真的很难受

很抱歉

Sorry for the pain I inflicted on you.

我真的很差劲，很恶劣。

不过上帝对我很好，

赐给了我那么多的好友

可惜我总是不懂得珍惜。

真的很感激你们为我做过的点点滴滴！

Just finished school of biological sciences freshmen orientation camp (SBS FOC in short)!

Well I must say it was much more fun in terms of the games that we played as compared to the orientation in poly and nyjc!

A pity there wasnt mass dance though because I think mass dance is damn cool (:

The only thing I hated about the FOC was playing games with food which is damn disgusting and gross and a waste even though the programmers said they used our leftovers. I dont see the point of playing such games.

The people there were quite easy-going but still different from those in TP. Mayb because most of them were from JC? It's like I dont know who's real and who's fake. I see a lot of fake smiles in uni and no im not stereotyping and talking rubbish.

Moving into hall this friday but only staying there from sunday onwards since there's orientation/hall camp on that week!

Meanwhile, Im trying to meet up with a lot of pple before I get busy with uni life!

Till then.

perhapsloved.blogspot.com by presto the random