❝ why is a raven like a writing desk? ❞
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Posted Thursday, January 24, 2008 // 4:59 PM
For a moment, i thought i fell into an endless bottomless pit.I was totally disappointed, depressed, whatsoever. But I had already expected that outcome, i knew i wont do well for o levels, so i guess i wasnt VERY VERY upset. At least i didnt breakdown when i received the results. Yeah, i know im not really good at this kind of academics stuff, and im really sick of it. But being hardworking and attentive in class did bring me somewhere. Although i wasnt really smart and all, i tried to do my best, to surpass others, to prove that im not stupid at all. I was afraid that people will look down on me. I had to be smart, materialistic and be a hypocrite so i wont feel useless and inferior . So I pretended. Pretended that im good, pretended that 'oh, im in double science. Im not stupid'. What did i get in the end? Only more disappointment. A loser is a loser after all. No point acting to be a smarty. DOUBLE SCIENCE, what's so good. I still cant do well , might as well just go combined. In the end, even combined ppl do better than me. Okay, i appealed in my sec sch by table tennis, i got looked down at, and this time i got such lousy results again. I REALLY DONT WANT TO GET LOOKED DOWN AT. What am I ? just a useless heap of rubbish who only knows how to do empty talk but cant do well. I broke down when LeckHui told me she didnt do well for her A maths and i said i did even worse. Seeing others being happy and all really made me feel even worse. 'Hey, how much did you get?' and i'll reply,' VERY LOUSY. 14'. And they'll go, 'OH'. Now i know what's the feeling of being such a loser. Even those who did even lousier than me in prelims surpassed me. Gosh, arent I really stupid or what. Fancy doing even worse than prelims. What a joke. JOKE OF THE DAY: I DID EVEN WORSE THAN PRELIMS. haha |
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