Curious and Curiouser.

❝ why is a raven like a writing desk? ❞

Posted Saturday, June 5, 2010 // 2:33 AM

Back to blogging after 1924802583423487 years.

With one good news.

TERM TESTS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER.

For now.

I was really really looking forward to it.
I never knew that year 3 BMT life could be that bad.
Assignments every week to submit, tests one after another.
I dont even have time to take a breather.

Im tired, and im sure many of us are.

And yet,
It's really disappointing, really demoralizing that after studying and memorizing for clinical chemistry, I look at the questions in the test paper, yet nothing comes into my mind.

Seriously, it's just as if I've never studied before. I really want to help myself, I really want to do well for it, yet, everytime I stare at the questions with whole mind empty without a single drop of brain juice.

It's a helpless feeling. Halfway through cchem, I really felt like walking away, instead of panicking, sitting there and pulling my hair out over the questions. I've never felt even worse than that. I dont even know what I was writing most of the time.

.....

I've been thinking a lot all these time;
'What exactly is my aim, my goal in life?'
'What is the reason Im living for?'
I really dont know. I dont know.

There's nothing I really wish to accomplish. I just know im living my life because of others.

I ask myself repeatedly everyday, 'Why am I studying?'
'To get good results, to get a good job'
'So why should I get a job?'
'To earn enough money to support your retirement.'

So you mean all this life, the things we are doing, the reason why we were born, why we are studying..It's all for our future retirement. It's like we're being forced to do so. I wish I was never born. I wish I didnt have to face the pressures in life. Because I dont even know what and why im doing all this.

I know by saying all this, it just goes to show that im a coward. No doubt I am.

Im not suicidal, it's just my thoughts. Im not so irresponsible and unfilial as to do stupid things.

In the end, everything revolves around only a single thing why we are on this earth for- MONEY. Well, mayb apart from the friendship and kinship.

I think I really need some motivation. Some reasons as to why I should even be on earth. Because I think Im just another burden to my parents and another useless creature who doesnt contribute anything to this world yet is fighting for that 0.00000000000000000000001 per cent of air with a few (maybe more) billion people.

Im not suicidal. Seriously.

perhapsloved.blogspot.com by presto the random

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20 going on 21 on 11 sep

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