❝ why is a raven like a writing desk? ❞
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Posted Friday, May 11, 2012 // 2:20 AM
Just realised my last post was when I first started my freshman year in NTU. And here I am, stepping into the second year of my uni life already. Well, many events have taken place within these 9 months. Happy ones, sad ones. Through which I've seen certain sides of people I haven't seen before, which made me realise how untrustworthy and weird humans can be. I was reading my old posts one day and I saw how much I've grown these few years. My thinking, my perception of others, my face... To the extent that sometimes, I don't even understand myself. I feel that I'm losing myself in this process of growing up, something undesirable for me. I find myself being less trusting in others after seeing the ugly side of others, I find myself building higher walls to keep people out, and only open up my heart to those who bother to climb over those walls. I find myself hating this world more and more. You know what, I really wish the whole '2012 marks the end of the world' thing is true. I'm cool with it since I've nothing to lose. I know it's unappreciative and ignorant of me to wish for death when at this moment, millions of people in the world are struggling and fighting against death. I'm always choosing the easy way out, isn't that so? Alright, I'll cut the emo nemo talk. So semester 1 in NTU was overwhelming-adapting to the uni life, meeting new friends, staying in hall, mugging like a no-life and juggling with table tennis at the same time. I must say being in the NTU table tennis team is really quite different. In the past, the teams I've been in were really small, but just nice to form a team and play for comps. I never really had to sit on the bench since we were shorthanded. The NTU ivp team is quite different, being a university team. Filled with talents-national players, china players and not forgetting those from those top-notch schools previously and are renowned in the table tennis circle in Singapore. So I am one of those lousy players at the bottom in the NTU team, struggling when it comes to the mini-competition within our team to decide who gets into the IVP team (which is damn helpful if you want to stay in hall). And the trainings are seriously tiring, the most tiring trainings I've ever experienced. It's a good thing though. Trains our stamina. But it's really bad when all the lab report deadlines and tests and trainings all cramp up together in a week. I guess I was pretty stressed out, having to cope with trainings and studying hard (reading my notes or doing tutorials almost every day) to achieve my goal but all the hard work was worth it because I did much better than I expected. Then I kinda started slacking in sem 2. With three core mods exemptions, I took up 3 electives, brought forward a year 2 mod and had a year 1 core mod, but I just somehow lost the energy and zest I had in sem 1. Oh well, shall leave the worrying to 24 May when the results are out. Good news: I'm going for a thailand trip with my NTU table tennis team mates next week for a couple of days (: A second team trip after the last one with chung cheng team mates! Looking forward to it ! Some pictures:                             |
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